Sweet Sexy Sugar

Thursday, June 19, 2014

lips like sugar....sugar kisses

The G-Spot or Sacred Spot of a man is his prostate gland. Tantric philosophy considers the G-Spot a man's emotional sex center. Massaging the man's prostate releases tremendous amounts of emotional and physical stress. Coupled with stimulation of his penis or "lingam", massaging his prostate can be extremely pleasurable and healing to the man. Since the most direct way to massage the man's Sacred Spot is through his anus, it takes time to adjust to being penetrated in this way. It is not for every man. The benefits are many and the pleasure can be very intense. For tantric partners, lovers or those otherwise genuinely comfortable with one another, massaging the sacred spot can be a powerful experience. Not only in terms of ecstatic pleasure for the "receiver", but in the sexual empowerment it bestows on the "giver". The walnut sized prostate gland is located directly underneath the bladder, not far from the internal root of the penis (see diagram). As can be seen, the gland is in close proximity to the rectal wall, allowing for easy access through the anus. Why is prostate massage pleasurable? There are number of reasons: Ejaculation reflex sensation No matter which method is used it is not possible to touch the prostate directly. The nearest indirect access is through the rectal wall, which means that there is still a membrane in the way. This is somewhat akin to the inhibiting sensitivity a glove. Despite this restriction the lobes of the prostrate are highly sensitive to pressure. An array of sensations may be produced by pressing, rubbing or by means of stroking the gland through the rectal wall. The most profound of these feelings is similar to that sublime sensation which is normally felt during ejaculation, as the prostate begins pumping semen. Anal sensitivity Along with the genital areas, the anus is connected to and interwoven with millions of delicately sensitive nerve endings, which can yield most pleasurable sensations. Hidden penis Unknown to most, over one third of the penis is buried inside the body. It is the base of the (hidden) penis which may be pressured in a similar manner as the prostate. The effect of stimulating all three can be awesome, if done in concert with genital stimulation. Still more overwhelming than the physiological effects is the psychological aspect of prostate massage, due to the unaccustomed nature of penetration of the receiver. Psychological high As powerful as physiological stimulation might be, it pales when compared to the immeasurably greater psychological or mental high. The very notion of the male placing himself into such a vulnerable position, results in a powerful mental rush, for both receiver as well giver. The willingness of the naturally controlling male to allow himself to placed in an unaccustomed submissive role, should be particularly cherished by the giver. Preparation As in any intimate activity, certain basic rules apply. The receiver should be meticulously clean. The giver should have available form fitting latex surgical gloves (not the loose fitting variety). It's desirable for a number of reasons to use gloves, of which the first and foremost benefit is to protect the delicate anal membranes from sharp fingernails and rough skin. Secondly, a well lubricated rubber surface will glide more easily than exposed skin. Lubrication should be water based, such as K-Y jelly. Taking a hot bath or shower prior to the massage is a good way to relax. While bathing the receiver will find it pleasurable to begin to fanaticize in anticipation of the experience to come. Positions Face to face (for greater intimacy) After completely undressing the receiver should assume a seated position; his back reclined and supported by large firm pillows (at about a 45 - 65 degree angle). His knees pulled in the direction of his chest and somewhat angled outward. The resulting position should be both comfortable for the receiver, as well as allowing the giver unobstructed view and unfettered access to the anus and genitals of the receiver. The giver may sit cross legged, or kneel in front of the receiver. As a way to relax the receiver, the giver may begin by massaging the receivers lower extremities, particularly the abdomen. Initially, the receiver may choose to relax by closing his eyes, but as the massage progresses it is of great importance that the receiver and giver maintain eye contact. It will be up to the giver to decide when the receiver is sufficiently relaxed and aroused. At this time the giver should unobtrusively slip on a glove and to begin lubricating the receivers anus. The lubrication process should be lengthy and ceremonial. Beginning with circular motions, stroking the anal opening. The objective is to pleasure and relax the nervous rosebud. The giver should "never" poke the anus with the tip of the finger, but to gently and firmly apply pressure with the pad of the finger. Continuously add lubrication; there can never be too much lubrication! When the anus is ready it will allow the finger to enter. All that is needed is time and patience. [See Anal Massage for more instructional images] Remarkably, when the moment comes the giver will notice that the finger will seem to be drawn into the anus. Once the finger has been allowed to enter it is best to be still allowing the anal sphincters the chance to become accustomed to the intrusion. It will not be a good idea for the giver to move their finger in and out of the anus. There should only be one reason for the giver to remove the finger, and this would be to add more lubrication. The giver is now ready to seek out the prostate: this can easily accomplished by crooking the inserted finger upwards, and feeling for a "roundish" to oblong protrusion about 2 inches inside the rectum. Applying pressure to the prostate will provide a variety of sensations, the most desirable of which is the feeling of impending ejaculation. By applying more or less pressure to the gland, the giver will be able to control these sensations; even to the point of inhibiting the receiver from ejaculating. The ability to control ejaculation through prostate massage, allows for nearly unending stimulation of the receiver's genitals. The penis may be massaged by the giver, or by receiver himself, to a point of near ejaculation. Only to be kept on the brink by varying pressure on the prostate. During the arousal cycle the giver may begin to rhythmically move the inserted finger partially in and out, so as to stimulate the rich and super sensitive nerve endings around the anus. Eye contact is most desirable at the resolution phase of the experience, with the receiver and giver gazing into one another's eyes… various scenarios are now possible: A. The giver will allow the receiver to masturbate himself to achieve ejaculating. All the while the giver will be verbally encouraging the receiver to the moment of climax. B. The giver may masturbate the receiver's penis with one hand, while massaging the receivers anal opening or prostate with the other. Both giver and receiver should communicate intently, so as to allow the greatest pleasure for the receiver. C. The receiver may desire for the giver to “milk” his prostate, without direct stimulation to the penis. To achieve this the giver will gently stroke each lobe, resulting in a gentle flow of semen and the emptying of the prostate through the erect or flaccid penis. Facing "away" from the giver (a magnificent view for the giver) In this position the receiver will be kneeling, knees apart, buttocks elevated, while the elbows are resting on a firm surface, such as a cushioned floor matt. This should be both a stable and comfortable position for the receiver. The giver may kneel or sit spread legged behind the receiver, having easy access and a perfect view, of the receiver's anus. The giver will also be in a position to reach between the receivers legs to allow stimulation of the genitals. From this point please follow the same procedure as in the face to face method.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

naughty girls....love phone sex too

[nicholassmale/flickr]

"He wanted you to cover your body in -- what?"

"Slices of American cheese," deadpans Domino, a surprisingly soft-spoken 27-year-old phone sex operator and stay-at-home mother who agreed to tutor me in advance of my scheduled stint as a phone sex operator.

Why would I try professional dirty talk? The decision actually began with a bit of reflection on wellness derived from occupational choices. While reading a recentForbes article, "The Rise of The 1099 Economy: More Americans Are Becoming Their Own Bosses," I thought about my transition from sweater set wearing corporate peg (I worked as a bond trader at an elite investment bank from 2003 to 2006) to freelance writer. I realized a while ago that the day-to-day flexibility afforded by freelancing is crucial to my mental health, even at the cost of a regular Wall Street paycheck. What I didn't know was that I'm part of a larger phenomenon. Data supplied by Economic Modeling Specialists International shows a 14 percent increase in the number of people working mostly on their own since 2001, and, according to Forbes, the trend is expected to gain momentum.

Are these other 1099 devotees choosing self-employment for the lifestyle benefits? And in what fields are they working, I wondered -- partly because a freelancer is always on the lookout for additional sources of income.

Curiosity led me to Christine Durst, the co-founder of a company that places people in home-based occupations called Rat Race Rebellion. Durst explained that she works across a vocational spectrum encompassing everything from healthcare to consulting to engineering and phone sex. Regarding the latter, she cited a stark increase in the number of mothers becoming phone sex operators because the flexible hours allow them to spend more time with their children.

"I may not be a mom, but I completely understand that choice," I said.

Durst soon introduced me to Domino, who worked in the Sales & Marketing division of a Fortune 500 company prior to becoming a phone sex operator in 2010. We bonded immediately over our shared distaste for conventions such as billable hours and face time. From what Domino then described, the act of engaging strangers in sex talk seemed intimidating, but it also seemed doable from the comfort of my home. Far be it from me to spurn any method of earning an extra buck that will let me maintain my lifestyle.

***

On the morning of my phone sex operator debut as "Pussy Willow," I sat at my desk wearing the navy blue cotton shorts I've owned since college and one of my boyfriend's white V-neck tees, staring over my shoulder at the cable box's digital clock. It was 10:55am. Big Rick, the first to answer my ad in the adult section of backpage.com, was scheduled to call at 11:00am. Thanks to Google Voice, I'd set up a fake number that forwards calls to my cell automatically.

The difference between saying "I feel..." and "You make me feel so... " is truly remarkable.

As I waited, I called to mind Domino's main advice: "Being a phone sex operator is like Russian roulette in that you never know what you're going to get. One client might want me to tell him to swallow his own semen because he's totally into humiliation, and an hour later I could be blowing up balloons for another guy." I've seen too much pornography and one too many episodes of National Geographic's Taboo to qualify as sheltered, but as I imagined the realm of possibilities, I grew more and more scared that I wouldn't be able to stop myself from cracking up.

I'd also backed myself up with a beginner-in-the-industry standard setup. I left a porno clip up on my computer screen so I could hit play and describe what I saw in case I ran out of ideas. To my left, my iPad displayed photos of a shirtless Brad Pitt to get me in the mood. Also within reach was my Naughty Quadrant -- an original reference chart scribbled on loose leaf -- including sections for Pet Names (Handsome, Stud, Sex God, Big Daddy, etc.), Dirty Adjectives (hard, pulsating, throbbing, wet, etc.), Dirty Verbs (lick, suck, spank, engulf, etc), and Body Parts (tits, balls, tongue, lips, etc.).

I looked from Brad to porn to cheat sheet, then practice my sexy voice, which, Domino instructed, should be softer and slower than usual. Remember to drawwww out your syllables, I told myself, because aside from a hilarious request, my greatest fear was that I'd tire of speaking so unnaturally.

When the phone finally rang, a whole new crop of concerns surfaced.

Was there a standard number of rings to allow before answering? How did I neglect to go over basic etiquette with Domino? And why am I dressed like this? It takes a special kind of idiot to wear a shirt she associates with her real-life lover while ushering a stranger toward climax.

At the dawn of ring four I swallowed my emergency shot of tequila, and, I hoped, most of the self-doubt.

"Tell me this is Big Rick," I said, trying my best to lather each word with sensuality.

"Yup," replied a gruff, borderline blasé voice.

Did I speak too quickly? Or sound too babyish? Too ridiculous?

"Well, well well," I say, buying myself a second to be offended before remembering that it was my job to draw him in. "Does Big Rick want to get naughty? Because Pussy Willow's getting naked."

"Hmph," utters the man of few words.

Sure, it's a phone sex operator's job to drive conversation, but how does one work with a mute? I considered my options. I could improvise a monologue about yearning for him on a remote beach, the ocean water splashing as my back arched northward with each tickle of orgasmic pleasure. Alternatively, I could play dominatrix. Or take my chance on a Russian accent. I could even hang up, but the freelancer in me didn't want to turn down the possibility of work.

That's when it hit me that there was only one person who knew what I should do.

In my most ingratiating, temptress-like tone, I asked "What is it that Big Rick wants?"

That's how I learned that Big Rick wasn't into feet, restraints, accents, or adult diapering. His wish was to jerk off while I narrated our session, beginning with "a raunchy lap dance" and culminating in "a doggy style hump fest."

When Big Rick climaxed around 11:18am, I was satisfied by my accomplishment. I was also a bit turned on.

***

Surprised that a mostly one-sided dialogue with a person I resented might get me going, I ring Dr. Justin R. Garcia, an Evolutionary Biologist with the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Garcia slapped a technical term on the phenomenon: copulatory vocalization. "We know that sound is really important during sex," he said. Indeed, a quick online search unveiled a study by James M Dabbs of Georgia State University showing that the pupils of both males and females dilate more in response to sexual auditory stimuli than to other kinds. Garcia explained that we use sound to direct sexual energy and to communicate a sense of pleasure. "A big part of this is performance-based, and that's not a bad thing -- that's just a reality of sex," he says.

The prevalence of online pornography and the ease with which any smart phone owner can snap a sexy photo lead some to oversaturate themselves with visual stimuli.

The advantages to phone sex might just amount to more than lifestyle perks.

***

For my next call, I changed into fitted black pants, a leopard print top, and four-inch patent leather pumps. I also set aside all framed photographs of my parents and boyfriend.

Throughout the day, I became more daring and resourceful. A spare leather shoelace transformed into a miniature whip, a rubber band let me actualize the spanking of flesh, and a lollipop doubled as a delicious instrument for imitating fellatio. When a request to smother my breasts in honey caught me off guard, I remind myself that the caller can't see me and run to the cupboard to pop the cap off a condiment I actually stock (ketchup) before returning to my desk to kick off a sticky, groan-enhanced fantasy.

I managed not to break into laughter all day, until "John" greeted me shortly before another voice chirped in to introduce herself as "Yoko." In a way, the silly Beatles reference distracted me from the fact that a couple called, allowing me to adjust to the unexpected more smoothly.

By evening I'd mastered the straightforward start, and I'd learned a few other things. Such as, dirty words are far less impactful than basic affirmations such as "Yes!" "Yeah, baby!" "Like that!" and "Give it to me!" It's also helpful to frame a comment in the context of a caller's prowess. I suppose people like to receive credit, because the difference between saying "I feel..." and "You make me feel so...." is truly remarkable. Lastly, I'm more certain than ever that it's impossible to avoid getting turned on while speaking at length and in detail about sex, which makes me hesitant to pursue a phone sex operator side gig, at least while I'm in a serious relationship.

***

The following day, I called Dr. Garcia again, convinced that we're all underestimating the capacity of our auditory sense. Garcia emphasizes that sexual response, or arousal, relies on every sense: visual, auditory, gustatory, olfactory, and tactile. When it comes to which aspect of our sensory system is most important during sex, he offers a hypothetical: "Consider a silent sensual massage versus clumsy petting accompanied by sexy talk. The two are hard to compare for obvious reasons." Since the quality of stimuli and individual preferences can vary so widely, it's impossible to make blanket statements.

That said, Garcia explains that the prevalence of online pornography and the ease with which any smart phone owner can snap a sexy photo lead some to oversaturate themselves with visual stimuli. He concedes that people today might very well overlook the capacity of their auditory sense as a result. Whether or not that is the case, he adds, "finding new ways to communicate sexually speaks to our evolved human animal."

Phone sex operator might not be an ideal gig for everyone, but for a porn-saturated generation, going vocal might be worth the change in pace. Especially in the context of the last several years, during which time the perils of creating and exchanging sexually explicit visual content have become evident, this makes sense. Countless high-powered individuals -- Scarlett Johansson, Lily Allen, Rihanna, and Anthony Weiner, to name a few -- have been embarrassed by sexting fiascos. There's even a host of regular teens who have been slapped with felony counts for disseminating graphic photos and videos. Why not embrace phone sex as a retro method of incorporating technology into our sex lives that's far less likely to lead to humiliation or jail time?